The Quilt

I know I haven't blogged since we got back from our court trip other than to share opportunities to be a part of Solomon coming home, but I did allude to this wait being painful in the last post.  We expected to have brought Solomon home by early October, but each day we are told for one reason or another we have to continue to wait.  And we wait.  And we wait.  And we still don't have an end in sight.  I haven't shared details because it's complicated, confusing, overwhelming, etc.  Today was one of those hard days.  One of those days when the aching in my heart became paralyzing, literally, and I had a moment of complete debilitation as I wrestled with thoughts and emotions.  I once again found refuge and strength in the Lord, my ever-present help in time of need.  He never fails to meet me where I'm at and remind me that He is I AM.

So I wanted to share one of the precious ways He has touched me during this trial.  Shortly after we returned from Ethiopia, three very sweet friends gave me this quilt:  UPDATE - My computer froze last night at this point so I'm just now picking up where I left off.  Thankfully, today hasn't been as emotional as yesterday was. ;)

I was immediately impressed with their talent (I can barely thread a needle) and creativity.  One quilted, one outlined the design and the third embroidered.  I will be honest, though, the first thing I noticed was that Solomon was not with the rest of the family and I thought it was a little sad.  BUT (don't feel bad, dear friends who made this and are reading my confession for the first time) they explained the idea behind the design and I LOVED it.  If you look closely you'll see clouds after Solomon followed by an airplane that leads to a house and the rest of the Paladinos.  We'll take this quilt back to Ethiopia with us and it is a visual for Solomon as we travel in the plane of our journey home.

Not long after receiving this quilt we became aware that our Embassy trip would be delayed and days turned to weeks and weeks became months.  Through this whole delay I have had complete trust that God is in control and will be glorified through this situation.  Many days, however, my heart has not lined up with my head and I have struggled to cope with the deep emotions that are beyond words.  One day I begged God to confirm to me that everything was going to be ok.  Now, I knew that whatever the outcome of this whole situation, it would be "ok," but I wanted to know that it would all work out in the end.  Anyone could tell me that it would all work out and be ok and that would be a nice sentiment, but I wanted to know, from God, through a person, that it would all be ok.

I was sharing some of the complications and struggles with these crafty friends and one of them, with glossy eyes, said she had to tell me about the quilt.  The friend that embroidered the quilt had finished her final stitch and began to clean off the pencil marks.  She brought the quilt to the quilter in a panic, fearing she had ruined it and explained, "I don't know what happened...I used the same thread for all of the clouds, but when I sprayed them to clean it up the ink in the first cloud ran."  The quilter said when she saw the big, dark cloud next to Solomon she was hit with a sinking feeling in her heart that this was a big storm cloud.  As I shared what was happening in our wait to bring him home, she saw that what we are experiencing is the storm before the blue skies.

God is good.  All the time.  Last night (the night I started this post!) Michael and I had a sweet time of worship together and ended with the song Always.  Here is an excerpt:

My soul will rest in You

I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm

My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay

My refuge and strength always

I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

Looking forward to the day we awake to blue skies!!!