So I avoided filling out the "about me" section on this little blog for a long time because I didn't want to resort to the typical "wife, mother, friend.." fluffy list and I didn't really want to "talk about myself", but one day last week when finally posting a profile picture (of course I had to include my awesome husband in that) I decided to share the verse that has been a strong desire of my heart lately and reoccuring thought in my daily life.
Philippians 3:10-11 - I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
I have been confused by this verse because I feel like I desire what Paul is speaking of, and yet I know I don't fully grasp the depth of the meaning. Yesterday morning, after another sleepless night filled with prayer and frustration, conviction hit. Unfortunately, due to the nature of our job and who may be reading this, I have to omit details, but in short, we have had the most trying bunch of girls in our dorm this summer. Praying Philippians 3:10-11 is the next worse thing to praying for patients!
You know (if you're a parent), how you think you "know" about the love of our Father, but when you become a father (mother) your understanding deepens? I feel like this short week and a half with these girls has been a gift of a deeper understanding of the agony our Lord felt as he sacrificed himself for those he cared deeply for while they (I) spat in his face. Ok, don't get me wrong, what I have been through the past few days does not compare to what Christ went through and I know that. That's where the conviction came in. I was feeling sorry for myself and starting to gather my pennies to save up to take next summer off when I realized that this was what I wanted! I don't want to grow complacent and the Lord knows that this is the kind of thing I need to kindle the fire in my heart that I may "press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."